Change Your World Week Winter 2022 (Archived)

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

To receive Immediate Support Call: 800-799-7233 

OR

Text "START" to 88788

Domestic Violence can be defined as violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner. As stated by New Hope Hotline, one in four women experience domestic violence within their lifetime. Additionally, every 9 seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted or beaten. Knowing this information can be very insightful to individuals who have never had this experience. On top of that, as claimed by New Hope, even survivors of domestic abuse face excessive rates of emotional distress such as, anxiety, depression, sleep disturbances, and flashbacks. Domestic Violence is real and if you or someone you know is experiencing it, please get help.

According to Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence... 

Rates based on Race 

• 45.1% of non-Hispanic Black women / 40.1% of non-Hispanic Black men 

• 37.3% of non-Hispanic White women / 30.3% of non-Hispanic White men 

• 34.4% of Hispanic women / 30% of Hispanic men 

• 18.3% of Asian or Pacific Islander women / 13.7% of Asian or Pacific Islander men 

Rates based on sexual orientation 

• 43.8% of lesbian women / 26% of gay men 

• 61.1% of bisexual women / 37.3% of bisexual men 

• 35% of heterosexual women / 29% of heterosexual men 

Children and teens 

• 17.9% of children of all ages have been exposed to physical intimate partner violence in their lifetime, or about 13.6 million children. 

• Approximately 3,500 to 4,000 children witness fatal family violence each year in the U.S. 

• Among high school students who dated, 21% of females and 10% of males experienced physical and/or sexual dating violence. 

When it comes to Domestic abuse, there are a variety of different kinds to become aware of. According to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline, these are detailed lists of several ways to identify the types below.

Physical

Signs of physical abuse could be shown as your partner hitting you, kicking you, restricting your movements or even prevent you from eating or sleeping. It can also be shown as using weapons against you, including firearms, knives, or bats. Also, they can exclude you from contacting emergency services, including medical attention or law enforcement. Lastly, they can potentially harm your children or pets.

Emotional and Verbal 

Some indications that your partner might show emotional and verbal abuse against you could come across as calling you names, constantly criticizing, or even insulting you. Isolating you from loved ones or other people in your life. Fabricating your emotions by refusing to comprehend your feelings and even contradicting previous statements or promises. Other signs could essentially be shown as trying to control the items you wear such as, clothes, makeup, or even the way you style your hair. Lastly, they can humiliate you in front of others. 

Sexual

When it comes to sexual abuse it can sometimes be overlooked as just inappropriate touching but, it can be much more than that. Starting off, your partner may force you to dress in a sexual way that you are uncomfortable with. Also, they might choke you or restrict you during sex without your consent. Some other signs might be making you watch or be involved with other people in your sexual activities against your will. Even intentionally give you or attempt to give you a sexually transmitted infection. 

Sexual Coercion

Has your partner ever tried forcing you into something you did not want to do? For instance, like use your relationship status as leverage to make you have sex with them. Have they ever demanded sex by saying it was your way to “prove your love”? Tried to pressure you to take alcohol and drugs to “loosen up” and give in. Ever implying that you owe them something because they first gave you gifts.  

Reproductive Coercion

If your partner refuses to use a condom other methods of birth control. Try to fight you because he doesn't want to “pull out” it could be reproductive coercion. Has your partner ever tried to stop you from taking birth control, remove said birth control, or poke holes in the condoms to basically trap you? Another example of domestic abuse is if your partner forces you to either continue with the pregnancy or end it. Have they tried keeping you pregnant by getting you pregnant again shortly after you have a child.

Financial 

Regarding financial abuse, it can be seen as your partner depositing your own money into a bank account. You may not be able to obtain or even be granted access by your partner to see those bank accounts. Furthermore, it can also be seen as maxing out your own credit cards without permission, harming your credit score, and not paying the credit card bills. Lastly, your partner could also refuse to provide money for living essentials. Sadly, this can leave victims without basic necessities such as food, money, clothing, transportation, and even medical care. 

Digital 

Does your partner watch what you say on social media or use it to follow what you are doing? What about your partner demanding you to create sexual content for him in the form of messages, pictures, or videos. These are just some types of abuse using digital formats. A few other ways that your partner could control you is by always going through your electronic devices looking for pictures, messages, and who you are contacting. Some other forms of partner abuse are making fake social media accounts. They try to make it look like the victims account just to say demeaning things to the victims friends thinking it's the victim.

Stalking

Has an ex-partner or acquaintance that you thoroughly communicated that you wanted them out of your life, refused to do so by showing up unexpectedly at your place of work or at home? Have they given you undesired presents like flowers or jewelry? Has this person also tried to vandalize your property, car, or other personal belongings? Have they used technology or social media to track you? If so, you could be a victim of stalking.  

Does your partner says that you never do anything correct?

Does your partner show extreme jealousy towards your friends and when you spend time without them?
Does your partner forbid or discourage you from spending time with friends or family members?

Does your partner degrade, captious, or flagorant you, especially in front of others?

Does your partner pressure you through threatening looks or actions?

Does your partner demolish your property or your residence?

Does your partner… 

• Shame or make fun of you in front of your family or friends? 
• Make you feel doubtful like you are not able to make decisions? 
• Use coercion or peril to gain consent? 
• Tell you that you are nothing without them? 
• Treat you harmful—grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you? 
• Contact you several times a night and/or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be? 
• Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying malicious things or abusing you? 
• Denounce you for how they feel or act? 
• Insist you perform intimate things you aren’t ready for? 

Do you...

• Frequently feel afraid of how your partner may behave?
• Constantly make justifications for other people or your partner’s behaviour?
• Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
• Try not to do anything that would cause disturb or anger your partner?
• Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
• Remain with your partner because you are frightened of what your partner would do if you terminate the relationship?

Attached below is an informational video about 8 early signs of an abusive relationship. Dr. Antonio Borrello does a great job in describing what can be seen within a relationship that might potentially be an abusive one.

How can you help victims of domestic violence? There are some simple things you can do to help victims including improving your knowledge about signs of domestic abuse. You can assist people who are currently experiencing domestic violence. One of the ways to assist victims of domestic violence is to listen to what the victim says and respond to what they have to say with words of confirmation that you are listening to them. Remember that when talking to a victim do not respond in a judgemental way. If you have any concerns about a victim's safety express your concern while remaining non-judgemental and say something like "Your situation sounds dangerous and I'm concerned for your safety." Remember there are risks attached to every decision regardless of gender, sexual orientation, and race. If you want to help, be patient and respectful, even if you don't agree with their decision.